We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
