I need help removing her.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
