My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize