Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize