I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
