Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
