help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
