he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
