It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
