so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
