so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Houston, we have a blender
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just had sex on a roof
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
