dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
