Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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