we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
there's paper in my vomit.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
