He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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