ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
