it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I won't apologize to a one balled man
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
