Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
