found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
