the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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