We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
