forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
