new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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