Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
