You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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