just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
