Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
