Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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