I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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