oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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