their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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