I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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