k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
