The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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