i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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