I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
