I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
