You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
