your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
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she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
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at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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