If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
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I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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