you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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