Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I believe in your delicious
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize