So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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