I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
