guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How external is "for external use only"?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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