I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
