Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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