Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
