yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
