Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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