I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize