oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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