Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
