Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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