Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize