I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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