the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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