But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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