i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
